.sleepless days.

as some of you know, i've got the semester from hell this summer... 3 classes from 8am to 10pm every damn day with stacked homework to boot... i know i'm whining right now, but you know what? i'm irritated... i'm not used to dealing with this amount of stress on a daily basis... i cant even go home and cook myself a decent meal...

there are people out there who deal with this type of agenda every day of their lives and are fine with it... i, on the other hand, am not used to leading a normal drawn out life... for the past 4 years i've been that "creature of the night" who sleeps late and wakes up late while my activites fit into MY schedule.

it isnt so easy this time... in order to progress, i've had to sacrifice the luxury of my schedule... i now understand what my brother means when he doesn't "have time to be fooling around."

real life waits for no one... if you dont learn now, it'll cost you later...

and i hate fucking late fees...

nicotine=4
caffine=2

.actions are louder.

when you're tired of something you like, you take a break from it and return to it at later time when you're ready to come back to it.

i suppose that's the logic.

but some people take this to the next level, and never return to that path they liked ever again, only moving forward.

there's logic in that, also. however, it's a philosophy that i've never taken to heart.

today i was told that some of my actions have become rather annoying. of course that made me feel like shit... i mean, they are my actions.

i just want to be adorable, i guess. pinchable in the face, even.

do we need a break? i do not want it to be permanent.

.nightmares.

holy crap... i am freaked out, for real. i had the fucking scariest nightmare last night and i couldn't stop that shit.

usually when i have a bad dream, i can take control of it... for example i got this imagery of getting robbed a while back i told the fool robbing me to "shut the hell up and gimme your money!" and it happened.

all jokes aside, last night was something i had never experienced. i wish that i had documented details, but i can't recall a damn thing. i just remember waking up paniced... as if i were in my last of moments of existance. the pain... the emptiness all too real...

i don't know...

the point is that it's something i never want to feel again... ever.

.eric, what you been up to?.

alright... it's the 12th and some shit's in motion... this fall i'll be headin back to jax; take it or leave it. i got to kick start my life and if this is the way it has to be, so be it...

now, an update on my activites...

Music:
i've been fuckin with some beats that'll be posted up in the next few days on soundclick. i've been tryin to focus on foundations and such so that the lyrics will determine the rest of the song. been workin on shandy's thing... going horrible.

Writings:
i got another driveby essay coming up; if you want me to rant on something, please let me know... i'm to patient to be focusing of my own hate... HIRE ME TO DO YOURS! *thumbs up*

Drawing:
i've been working on some sketches to post... no i haven't... move on.

Work:
fuck work!

School:
fuck school!...
i start summer on monday... forget calling me to eat breakfast or dinner.

Relationship:
yes, vy and i are still together... yes, 3 years is amazing... yes, long distance is hard... yes, i'm tired of you commenting... yes, i'd like you to go away... yes, i dont have a problem in bed... wait, what?

done.
note to self: research Monopoly strategies.

habit count:(biting off bridget jones)
nicotine- 5
caffine- 1