there's something about the word penis that can make any emotionless person flinch with with a "what the hell..." grin when correctly used. for myself, it started in high school when my peers would talk to me about boring things like the lesson from the day before.
Peer: "Eric...? Did you do the projectile motion problem? i was wondering if you could..."
Me: "Penis."
Peer: "Okay?"
well... it turned out that interrupting people with my "penis" wasn't enough. i have to outright arbitrarily wave it around like the village idiot...
my phone rings and i answer:
Me: "Penis."
Joseph/Ben/Rainer: "Yes!" or "Penis! Penis! Penis! Penis!"
trust me... penis makes you feel good... i swear... you could be having a horrid day and a little penis could make things all better. the trick is though is that you have to be enthusiastic about it!! you just can't mutter it... you have to be really obnoxious about it. you have to love the penis!!!
why does this work? *shrug* probably because most of them are a joke... not mine of course >.>
PENIS!
Monday, May 30, 2005
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
.3 for 1- more banias for your buck.
.falling out. (from 5/19/2005)
today i purchased a cd by The Bravery-- another indie, modern-punk band retro-fitted with emotions that's sold their artistic souls for publicity to MTV. granted that's where i get the majority of my punk knowledge, but that's another story...
for my point of today's post, let's take a look at top songs; #1, 5, 15 and 25, as listed on Ohhla:
#1 Wait til you see my D*ck(The Whisper Song) by Ying Yang Twins-
here is a prime example of what is wrong with hiphop. there's no poetry... there's no story except trying to get this female into bed with as much dirty language as possible and an overload of a catchy rythmic bassline. i don't know, maybe you females like that now a days, but i find it... oh what the hell's the word i'm looking for...? unappealing? dull? i don't know... =/
i will however say that there's one part i really like and it just goes, "ba-m, ba-m, ba-m, ba-m, ba-m." damn, you have to listen to it. wow, i am a typical guy, aren't i?! anyways...
#5 Ain't got nothin' by David Banner
again... another focus on bassline. more of that "Crunk" feeling, but this song has more emotion to it... let's take a look at a snippet of lyrics:
I'm a miser, that mean I'm tight as a jew
So if you're, lookin for love bitch you know what to do
Find a man, cause I ain't givin nuttin but dick
If you insulted? Grab your fuckin pussy and split!
more grime, more bass, more repetitive BS...
#15 Don't Stop by Beanie Sigel ft Snoop Dogg
we now have a change of pace where the focus of the song is about a hardcore, and apparently well off, Mr. Sigel. i do enjoy the laid back feeling of the west coast beat, but the fact remains that i cannot relate to your money, B! i don't know what it's like wearing "three piece suits, linen fabrics, three quarter [crocodiles]". c'mon guys, what the hell are ya'll rapping about? money, cash, hoes? what the fuck. well, lastly...
#25 Grind on me by Prettie Rickie
you know what? fuck it... i'm not even touching this one... the name says it all. "Prettie"... -.-*sigh*
lyric- n. The words of a song.
song- n. A poetic composition.
the is absolutely nothing "poetic" except for the rhyme-style of a lot of hiphop now. the beats are awesome and are just getting more so... but what the hell is wrong with today's lyricists?
.happy face, sad face. (from 5/23/2005)
my 2pm to 2am binge plan didn't work out... i drank myself a headache by the time sunset came about. today was ben's benefit party for ben @ freebirds and overall it was alright. however the crowd was smaller, rowdier, and, most of all, forgetful of what happened last year. by the time i was ready to leave around 11pm, a drunken-yet-sad-and-sober kristine came out of woodwork saying the following: "everyone who matters is already here. thank you for coming! i love you!" then with a strong sniffle and a forceful, but tender kiss on my check, she disappeared back into the crowd to make her rounds. maybe she realized and felt the same as i had despite being inebriated the entire weekend. if she didn't, i have know idea what she's talking about.
=/
i emerged from freebirds many times to find the sky spotless of clouds and a full moon reflecting off the atlantic ocean. everytime i see it, it reminds me of August 20th, 2000. that sunday night ben, joseph, and i were in the same exact area on the beach... just chillin out and talking... with bright hopes set on each of our futures. we laughed... we laughed more... we freaked out at Herbert the Beach Bum and gave him cigarettes while he talked about "lovin the ladies..." we toppled the big lifeguard chair we were sitting on and went home... the sky was perfect, just like tonight was... *sigh*
i'm cool... i'm cool...
big ups to dillion(aka DJ Coldcut! ahaha!) & dirty digits, JustWill(Nothin more, nothin less!), Shadow Agency, Evolemo, Mr. Rob Roy, Simple Complexity(start some controversy!), Suicide Clutch, Rob Roy's Roommate(sorry, i didn't catch your name), and the other bands that performed while i was drinking or outside chillin. thank you for coming out.
.because men need love, too. (for 5/25/2005)
tonight i went Panera on Atlantic Blvd. & Southside Blvd. to ease the hankering for baked potato soup(love me some baked potato soup, boy! mmm...)
next to me was a long dining table able to seat 8 to 10 people. about 2 minutes into my lovely, cremey indulging soup, a clan of caucasian men set their food down and took that aforementioned table. i couldn't help but key in on a boisterous voice from the man at a far end of that group.
"Thank you, everyone for coming here. I'm [blahblah], for those of you who are new here today..."
i missed a lot of the things being said while i was engulfing that delicious manifestation of potato, but when my concentration finally severed from my sourdough bread bowl, my ears became afixed upon stories similar to ones i'd probably find if i watched enough of the Oxygen Network.
seated next to me were individuals within the male population of jacksonville that were within/getting out of/seeking guidance and compassion for broken/dissovling marriages. i never knew such a thing existed... a "male support group" unrelating to alcohol/drug abuse. i found myself captivated by some of their hard to believe, yet not impossible tales.
i wasn't the only man who completely froze when they began to spill their sorrows upon each other. male strangers were stopping, taking seats nearby... male employees stopping their duties... all of us emitting the same blank expression of "damn, dude... i'm sorry."
needless to say, i got out of their before they did... in-case they saw me listening and they call on me to share a story that's only half entertaining as theirs were or, god forbid, need a young, strapping shoulder to cry on. =/
today i purchased a cd by The Bravery-- another indie, modern-punk band retro-fitted with emotions that's sold their artistic souls for publicity to MTV. granted that's where i get the majority of my punk knowledge, but that's another story...
for my point of today's post, let's take a look at top songs; #1, 5, 15 and 25, as listed on Ohhla:
#1 Wait til you see my D*ck(The Whisper Song) by Ying Yang Twins-
here is a prime example of what is wrong with hiphop. there's no poetry... there's no story except trying to get this female into bed with as much dirty language as possible and an overload of a catchy rythmic bassline. i don't know, maybe you females like that now a days, but i find it... oh what the hell's the word i'm looking for...? unappealing? dull? i don't know... =/
i will however say that there's one part i really like and it just goes, "ba-m, ba-m, ba-m, ba-m, ba-m." damn, you have to listen to it. wow, i am a typical guy, aren't i?! anyways...
#5 Ain't got nothin' by David Banner
again... another focus on bassline. more of that "Crunk" feeling, but this song has more emotion to it... let's take a look at a snippet of lyrics:
I'm a miser, that mean I'm tight as a jew
So if you're, lookin for love bitch you know what to do
Find a man, cause I ain't givin nuttin but dick
If you insulted? Grab your fuckin pussy and split!
more grime, more bass, more repetitive BS...
#15 Don't Stop by Beanie Sigel ft Snoop Dogg
we now have a change of pace where the focus of the song is about a hardcore, and apparently well off, Mr. Sigel. i do enjoy the laid back feeling of the west coast beat, but the fact remains that i cannot relate to your money, B! i don't know what it's like wearing "three piece suits, linen fabrics, three quarter [crocodiles]". c'mon guys, what the hell are ya'll rapping about? money, cash, hoes? what the fuck. well, lastly...
#25 Grind on me by Prettie Rickie
you know what? fuck it... i'm not even touching this one... the name says it all. "Prettie"... -.-*sigh*
lyric- n. The words of a song.
song- n. A poetic composition.
the is absolutely nothing "poetic" except for the rhyme-style of a lot of hiphop now. the beats are awesome and are just getting more so... but what the hell is wrong with today's lyricists?
.happy face, sad face. (from 5/23/2005)
my 2pm to 2am binge plan didn't work out... i drank myself a headache by the time sunset came about. today was ben's benefit party for ben @ freebirds and overall it was alright. however the crowd was smaller, rowdier, and, most of all, forgetful of what happened last year. by the time i was ready to leave around 11pm, a drunken-yet-sad-and-sober kristine came out of woodwork saying the following: "everyone who matters is already here. thank you for coming! i love you!" then with a strong sniffle and a forceful, but tender kiss on my check, she disappeared back into the crowd to make her rounds. maybe she realized and felt the same as i had despite being inebriated the entire weekend. if she didn't, i have know idea what she's talking about.
=/
i emerged from freebirds many times to find the sky spotless of clouds and a full moon reflecting off the atlantic ocean. everytime i see it, it reminds me of August 20th, 2000. that sunday night ben, joseph, and i were in the same exact area on the beach... just chillin out and talking... with bright hopes set on each of our futures. we laughed... we laughed more... we freaked out at Herbert the Beach Bum and gave him cigarettes while he talked about "lovin the ladies..." we toppled the big lifeguard chair we were sitting on and went home... the sky was perfect, just like tonight was... *sigh*
i'm cool... i'm cool...
big ups to dillion(aka DJ Coldcut! ahaha!) & dirty digits, JustWill(Nothin more, nothin less!), Shadow Agency, Evolemo, Mr. Rob Roy, Simple Complexity(start some controversy!), Suicide Clutch, Rob Roy's Roommate(sorry, i didn't catch your name), and the other bands that performed while i was drinking or outside chillin. thank you for coming out.
.because men need love, too. (for 5/25/2005)
tonight i went Panera on Atlantic Blvd. & Southside Blvd. to ease the hankering for baked potato soup(love me some baked potato soup, boy! mmm...)
next to me was a long dining table able to seat 8 to 10 people. about 2 minutes into my lovely, cremey indulging soup, a clan of caucasian men set their food down and took that aforementioned table. i couldn't help but key in on a boisterous voice from the man at a far end of that group.
"Thank you, everyone for coming here. I'm [blahblah], for those of you who are new here today..."
i missed a lot of the things being said while i was engulfing that delicious manifestation of potato, but when my concentration finally severed from my sourdough bread bowl, my ears became afixed upon stories similar to ones i'd probably find if i watched enough of the Oxygen Network.
seated next to me were individuals within the male population of jacksonville that were within/getting out of/seeking guidance and compassion for broken/dissovling marriages. i never knew such a thing existed... a "male support group" unrelating to alcohol/drug abuse. i found myself captivated by some of their hard to believe, yet not impossible tales.
i wasn't the only man who completely froze when they began to spill their sorrows upon each other. male strangers were stopping, taking seats nearby... male employees stopping their duties... all of us emitting the same blank expression of "damn, dude... i'm sorry."
needless to say, i got out of their before they did... in-case they saw me listening and they call on me to share a story that's only half entertaining as theirs were or, god forbid, need a young, strapping shoulder to cry on. =/
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
.early to rise.
here i am at 7:30 in the morning after a huge helping of "uncomfortable," though i'm not suprised; how often do you see people falling asleep in a steam room?...
anyhow, thanks to my parents' penny pinching ways, i again get to experience the simple joy that is the "early morning," the stretch of time that lasts from 5am to 7am. i happen to love this section of the day, but i tend to miss it a lot because it's too damn early...
=/
however, when i happen to be awake, i get a feeling of "refreshness" or maybe "rejuvination" is a better vivid. perhaps it's the car fumes from early morning traffic? whatever the case may be, it still seems magical whenever i step outside, shirtless to the dismay of neighbors and various children, and inhale that "early morning" breeze that wafts through what little hair i have(which also happens to include those on my nipples... hehe sick yet? good morning!).
as i stepped out this morning, my first thought was "i miss having a balcony." for 4 years i lived in a second floor or higher apartment, thus enjoying the view of "early morning" anger as people cut each other off to gain that 32 second lead on their schedule. maybe that's what i enjoy... the vision of a day beginning for so many lives that are driving by... or maybe it's the fact that i don't have to be anywhere for another 3-4 hours and can sit back and laugh at the early crowd rushing?
=/
the gist of it is that i do enjoy being alive during the early morning and hope to be pissing off morning commuters soon while i try to stay 32 seconds ahead of my schedule...
i guess i'll go buy coffee now like how normal people do...
anyhow, thanks to my parents' penny pinching ways, i again get to experience the simple joy that is the "early morning," the stretch of time that lasts from 5am to 7am. i happen to love this section of the day, but i tend to miss it a lot because it's too damn early...
=/
however, when i happen to be awake, i get a feeling of "refreshness" or maybe "rejuvination" is a better vivid. perhaps it's the car fumes from early morning traffic? whatever the case may be, it still seems magical whenever i step outside, shirtless to the dismay of neighbors and various children, and inhale that "early morning" breeze that wafts through what little hair i have(which also happens to include those on my nipples... hehe sick yet? good morning!).
as i stepped out this morning, my first thought was "i miss having a balcony." for 4 years i lived in a second floor or higher apartment, thus enjoying the view of "early morning" anger as people cut each other off to gain that 32 second lead on their schedule. maybe that's what i enjoy... the vision of a day beginning for so many lives that are driving by... or maybe it's the fact that i don't have to be anywhere for another 3-4 hours and can sit back and laugh at the early crowd rushing?
=/
the gist of it is that i do enjoy being alive during the early morning and hope to be pissing off morning commuters soon while i try to stay 32 seconds ahead of my schedule...
i guess i'll go buy coffee now like how normal people do...
Friday, May 13, 2005
.i just want that mug.
to whom it may concern within the Starbucks corperate offices:
as i valued patron of your business, i would like to suggest that your methods and standards that define your various locations throughout the United States are unattractive. though i do enjoy many of your house brews, the environment with which you portray yourself is nothing but a facade. as a community based organization and service, your duty should be to showcase the talents and abilities of your surrounding community. about your various locations you display ample yet meaningless montages of literary and visual art. i choose "meaningless" as a discription because of its dull repetativeness within your chain.
in order to generate more interest, and therefore more profit, for your brand, i implore that you, as a company, step back and observe the impact that your chain could have on the areas with which you are positioned and heed my concern. with the number of stores that you currently have operational, your organization could become a major benefacto for art communities all over the nation, just by generating interest, and therefore more pursuit, in local art.
in show of gratitude for my idea, i will humbly accept the brown, ceramic starbucks coffee mug that had been so recently discontinued as of November 2004. the following is an example in appearance:
thank you for your time and my mug in advance.
sincerely,
eric banias
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Saturday, May 07, 2005
.goodbyes.
university blvd. alafaya trail. coloniel drive. rouse road. goldenrod road. lake underhill road. these were just some of the streets of the area i called home. "home is where you make it," and i had made mine on the east side of orlando for 4 and a half years. this weekend was my triumphant return home, only to leave with empty feeling i had August 4th, 2004 when i came to Jacksonville to start again. however, upon leaving, i was prepared with my goodbyes, driving away was easier than it was before. i honestly do miss my life from before, but that is time past, time to move forward with what i have now.
a few days before, as i jumped in my car to take it to the Gate gas station on Monument Road for some needed cleaning, i noticed something towards the top of my passanger side window. it was Herbert, my grass lizard... death my automated window, crushed as i closed it on him the previous night. as i carried his frail broken body to the bushes on the side of the house, i couldn't help but feel remorse and blame for losing my traveling companion over the past 2 weeks. yes, he was a lizard, but he was my lizard, dammit. anyhow, a moment after i thought about how i carried ben on his day... it was a sad moment, but it's a feeling i've come to accept as part of life. i just hope there will be a few that will carry me when it's my time.
on another note, vy closed her journal. her point for doing so was that if people want to find out about her life, they'll ask her themselves. it's a very good point, so good that i thought about doing the same, however a lot the things i talk about here are not easily expressed in another's presence. also, unlike other journals, i leave little room for the comments of others. this is, for myself, a documentation of emotions, actions taken, and thoughts that i plan to use to enrich my life in the future as i look backward(i like to dwell in the past for some reason. i guess to see how i've come along in life).
ok... i'm tired... have a headache...
a few days before, as i jumped in my car to take it to the Gate gas station on Monument Road for some needed cleaning, i noticed something towards the top of my passanger side window. it was Herbert, my grass lizard... death my automated window, crushed as i closed it on him the previous night. as i carried his frail broken body to the bushes on the side of the house, i couldn't help but feel remorse and blame for losing my traveling companion over the past 2 weeks. yes, he was a lizard, but he was my lizard, dammit. anyhow, a moment after i thought about how i carried ben on his day... it was a sad moment, but it's a feeling i've come to accept as part of life. i just hope there will be a few that will carry me when it's my time.
on another note, vy closed her journal. her point for doing so was that if people want to find out about her life, they'll ask her themselves. it's a very good point, so good that i thought about doing the same, however a lot the things i talk about here are not easily expressed in another's presence. also, unlike other journals, i leave little room for the comments of others. this is, for myself, a documentation of emotions, actions taken, and thoughts that i plan to use to enrich my life in the future as i look backward(i like to dwell in the past for some reason. i guess to see how i've come along in life).
ok... i'm tired... have a headache...