dearest ____,
i am not what you want. over the past few months, i had come to that conclusion. i confess it here on a public forum, to the world, that i am not "man" enough for you, in hopes that it may ease some of the tension between you and i. everything in your email was true. the things you said about how i didn't do anything for you is true. a relationship is supposed to enhance your life, and in the end, i believe that i did not hold up my half of that responsibility. i've always wanted the best for you... and i am not that.
of course i thought about a life with you again, ____. it was, hands down, the greatest experience of my life, to present date. however, there are aspects of my personality that i am unwilling to change. they are parts of me that we have quarreled over before, and i believe that time is emminant to repeat itself if we continued the way we did. i feel that our seperation is better, definitely for you, in the long run.
i am still a child and you are blooming into the woman that you dreamed of being all your life. i cannot sit idle and pull you down, letting you believe that you are happy with me, when in reality, i know you've always felt the opposite; having to constantly push me onward in life. there were times when you needed saving, when i, quite possibly, am the last person on earth who could.
i counter every possible hope with a cliché: "It's not you, it's me." and that is what i will always believe. i wish you the best and a piece of my heart will always belong to you, cheering you on. i appreciate your efforts to contact me; i do see that you've called... i just feel like the things we're going to say will only complicate our resolves. i'm sorry if it felt like i abandoned you when you needed support, but i upheld my silence for multiple reasons, most of which, have been stated over time. the last thing you need from me are more head games, and i hope this will clarify anything left withstanding, so that you may move on to something better.
sincerely yours,
eric b