it's 6am and i can't sleep. i wish i could blame it on some sort of life changing stressor or even a heart pounding dilemma, but i can't... it was a f'in mountain dew. so to kill time, i went on myspace to gaze upon a female population who would not so much be gazing back at me. during that short lived self-destructing moment, i thought about something that's been plauging my mind for that past few weeks... going to my true point of origin, the philippines. at the end this year, the younger parts of my family are making their way back to square one and i have the opportunity to join them. i haven't made up my mind whether i'll be attending or not, but the most likely answer is "yes, as long as there's air conditioning... and cheap cigarettes."
earlier this year, my dad "went home." i remember the car ride to the airport; he was pretty peppy despite his drowsy, poker faced expression. he kept going on and on about how i should "go home", how i should "visit home," about how i can find myself a good woman "back home". i couldn't help but wonder if that was his on his personal agenda. despite his early mood, i talked to him a week later and he couldn't seem to get over his new found boredom. way to advertise the fun, dad.
despite that event, i miss my grandpa. i haven't seen him in years and he sounds happy... i just want to make sure he is for sure. i am, however, bothered by the woman he's with... being with him for his money i'm sure. again, way to advertise the personality of the philippines, dad.
this is all still up in the air. i can't seem to make a decision. but if everything works out like i want it to, i'll be on my way.
now, time for sleep.